-A broken heart-

I remembered the day when we first met. It was my first day in class and at that time, I was still very innocent. And because it was my first day in class, I thought that we wouldn’t be needing paper and pencil so my mom just gave me her ballpen and the extra paper. It’s funny isn’t it? How could a young girl think that way? And when the teacher said that we should get our pencil and paper, I felt worried because my mom had left already and I didn’t had a friend at that time. I didn’t know on what to do. Until someone lend me his extra pencil and gave me a sheet of paper.

That was when I first saw him. I maybe young at that age and very innocent at that time, that’s what I am thinking..Yes, maybe that’s it. But as the years past by and by, I realized that the feeling still remains in my heart. It’s no longer ordinary..Why? ..Yah..Maybe it’s just a crush but why did it takes that longer?

“What is this I’m feeling
I just can’t explain, when you’re near
I’m just not the same
Try to hide it, try not to show it
I’m crazy, how could it be..
I’ve fallen for you
Finally, my heart gave in
And I’m fallen in love
I’ve finally know how it feels
So this is LOVE..”

Familiar with that song? That song was “I’ve fallen”. The whole message of that song was what I’m feeling at that time. My friends teased me but I always deny. I’m telling to myself that the feeling was gone but I’m just fooling myself. I knew deep inside that the feeling wasn’t really gone because everytime I went away, he went nearer to me. I couldn’t found another one even if I want to because his always there. His presence made me uneasy.

I treasured every moment we had. For me, these things made me happy but for every happiness, there’s always sadness. I knew even before that the feeling wasn’t mutual. I knew he didn’t feel the way that I feel for him. It’s the saddest part of being in love. It hurts so much to know that you’re the only one loving. Is it really love? It’s so painful to know that the person doesn’t love you back.

He loves another girl. My heart aches everytime I see them together. I pretended to be okay, I smiled even if I wanted to cry at that time. I tried to hide all the feelings I had. I’d succeeded pretending and hiding but I suffered so much. I’d been brokenhearted but it’s okay. At least, I had shared my moments with him. I had kept those memories here in my heart.

It must be a puppy love, I knew, but that was before..And now, step by step, I’m starting a new life without him. Maybe he’s not for me. Life must go on no matter what. Being brokenhearted didn’t mean that it’s the end of your world and you’ll never be the same again. Who knows after that, you’ll be much better that expected.